Dating / Working out

Having multiple guys show genuine interest on the dating website is a good problem to have (not to mention a boost to the ol’ self esteem)

boston strong

Images courtesy of the Boston Bruins Facebook fan page.

There are multiple things on my plate right now. The half marathon is this Sunday. I’m ready! I just hope the weather we’ve been having locally cooperates. According to the calendar, it’s spring, but according to Mother Nature, it’s more like winter. I have no dates planned, or any major activities for that matter, for the evening before my race. I plan to relax and take it easy and try to get plenty of sleep. I also plan to wear blue and yellow for the race to honor the victims of the Boston Marathon bombing.

Another event coming up is my birthday. I’m in my early 30s and a couple of days ago I had a major case of the blues. It just hit me that I’m over 30 now and, while I have accomplished a lot in my career and academically, I am alone. I have no one with which to share my life and experiences right now. I definitely have my cynical side and that part of me felt like a failure regarding relationships. All the relationships I’ve had up to now have failed. But the optimistic part of me (along with my bestie) reminded me that each relationship is a learning and growing experience. Just because a relationship ends doesn’t mean it wasn’t ultimately a good thing. I’ve learned much from past relationships and I’m learning much by going on dates and chatting via the dating website. For example, with each guy I meet through the dating website, I’m learning more and more about what I want in a guy and what I don’t want. I’m narrowing it down, so to speak. Does that mean I’m getting pickier? Is being picky a bad thing? I don’t really know the right answer to those questions. However, I do know that if I were a mad scientist I would take all the bits and pieces I like in the guys I’ve met/dated and splice those genes together to create my perfect man. Haha! Science fiction, unfortunately, is fiction and, honestly, can you really “replicate” personality traits? Physical features are one thing, but personality is something resulting from environment and experience and maturity. That’s what makes us all unique, right? Okay, the BS is getting a little deep here, moving on.

So, as I was saying, I was feeling down and my self esteem was practically on the floor. But that’s when the flood came. Suddenly, within a 24-hour period, I received multiple messages from guys on the dating website, and not just “hi” messages. No, I mean, actual, conversational messages. I’ve started chatting with a few of these new guys and had a date with one of them so far. I’ll get to that date in a moment.

I also received several sweet and funny texts from my most recent ex-boyfriend. Now, before you even think it, no, I’m not interested in getting back together with him. We’ve only recently started texting here and there purely as friends. He’s a super nice guy, really great actually. But there were a few things that bothered me about him (which I won’t go into because it’ll bore you), plus he lives an hour away and has full custody of his son. I’m not sure if I’ve mentioned this before, but I’m not the hugest fan of kids. Don’t get me wrong, I love my niece and nephews to pieces. But they’re my blood and I get to give them back to their parents when I’m done playing with them. I don’t hate kids, let’s be clear. I am just really, really, really not sure that I ever want to have any of my own and I definitely didn’t enjoy trying to help raise someone else’s kid. So, that’s one of the reasons why my ex-boyfriend is an ex-boyfriend. (Man, I’ve really got to get these tangents under control!) Back on point. My ex-bf sent me a sweet text right around the same time I was feeling down that quoted a line from a Natasha Bedingfield song: “A face without freckles is like a sky without stars.” And then he said to remember that statement because it’s important. I have lots of freckles (they’re a bit faded right now because I haven’t been in the sun much); they go with the whole redhead package. I’ve always been a little annoyed with my freckles, but my ex-bf put a smile on my face with his little compliment to my freckles. I definitely appreciate the compliment from him, but it still doesn’t make me want to get back with him.

So, about that date with the new guy. I’ll call him Mr. Mustache. I’m usually not a fan of facial hair on guys, but this guy made it work and he said it was part of a silly contest between some friends to see who could grow the best “Tom Selleck” style mustache. That kind of humor earns him points with me. We started messaging on the website and he was very positive and funny and obviously read my profile. He took initiative right away and said we should meet for tacos at an El Salvadorian place and maybe bowling afterwards. I liked that he jumped right into the decision making process. That’s very refreshing. Such a change from some of the usual wishy washy guys I’ve come across.

Anyways, we did meet for tacos (which were delicious) and then just chatted at the restaurant for like another half hour. We started talking about craft beers and Scotch whiskey (to which I’m very partial), which then led to our decision to forgo bowling and grab a couple beers at a local German beer house instead. After beer, we hung out outside the bar for about an hour talking and laughing and eventually hugging because it was windy and chilly and we needed to keep warm. Overall, I had a really good time. He sent me a message the next morning thanking me for a really great first date and said it was what all first dates should aspire to be. That was very sweet, I thought. He didn’t try to get my number (he’d already given his to me via the dating website), he didn’t try to sleep with me, and he was very honest and flattering and quirky and made me laugh. We found that we have a lot in common as far as tastes go and even though he’s several years older than I, it doesn’t bother me and I feel he has a good mix of maturity and youthful energy. So, eventually I sent him a text and we’ve been texting quite a lot. He says he wants to take me for a ride on one of his motorcycles to a lake about an hour away and have a picnic with wine and snacks. I told him that sounds good to me (I do love riding motorcycles). No date picked out yet for this mini road trip, but it’ll happen eventually. I’ll make sure of it because I am curious about this guy and want to get to know him better.

The other guys I’ve started chatting with on the dating website also seem very nice and genuinely interested since they’re asking lots of “get to know you” questions. I currently have no plans to meet these new guys but that may change in the future. For now, I’m excited for my race, I’m semi excited for my birthday (more excited that I’m going out for sushi with friends that evening), and I’m excited for new dating prospects. Onward and upward, right?

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