21st Century Dating

I’ve never done online dating.  Ever.  In my head, it has such a stigma, like you’re truly desperate if you do it and that you’re somehow pathetic because you can’t meet a real person in real life.  But my friends are trying to discourage this idea and so I’m keeping an open mind.  I’m giving it a shot, for better or worse.

Last night I signed up on an online dating website.  One of the first things it asked me for was a headline for my profile.  What’s a headline, I thought to myself.  No, actually, I asked it out loud to my friend, who was assisting me through the online dating sign up process.  She didn’t know either.  So I did what any modern woman does who doesn’t know the answer to a question, I Googled it.  There was a fairly helpful and informative website that walked me through the various steps of registering for an online dating website and it included advice on the dos and don’ts of profile descriptions.  That website (for those who are interested) can be found at Headlines That Get You Noticed .  There was also a website that had a list of some examples of headlines that were funny, cheesy, a little creepy, and even downright dirty, and that website is Huge list of profile headlines.

Anyways, after getting some advice from the world wide web and from my friend, I settled on a headline that was funny and somewhat flirty, without being trashy or dirty.  I would tell you what it is, but I’m afraid you might find it on a dating website and start stalking me.  Just kidding!  But not really.

The next step was to “write about yourself.”  Ugh.  I believe I am in the majority here when I say that I hate describing myself.  Job interview, dating website, it doesn’t matter, it’s awkward.  Right?  Plus, the dating website suggested (in parentheses) that the longer my description, the more responses I would get.  Um, does that seem counter-intuitive to anyone else?  I mean, I love reading, I really do.  I just got a Kindle for Christmas and already finished my first ebook last week.  But if you saw a three or four paragraph personal description on someone’s dating profile page, would you take the time to read the whole thing?  Would you really?  I can honestly say I would not.  I’d skim, but not delve into every word and detail.  Too much!  So I decided to keep it short and simple.  My personal description is one paragraph and about five or six sentences long.  That’s it.  To me, the dating part is where you get to know all about someone, not from their online profile page.  Am I wrong?

In the personal description section they suggested that you list the type of person you’re looking for, what qualities you do/don’t want in a mate, that sort of thing.  Obviously, they’re hoping I will write what I’m looking for in a tactful way and not just say “don’t be a douchebag” or something along those lines.  So I chose to write what qualities I’m attracted to instead of being negative.  But again, I kept it short and simple.

So then I had to describe my idea of a good first date.  And this was not the most painful part, the worst is yet to come.  I typed up something generic about going bowling and then dinner because then we’d have a chance to get to know each other.  As opposed to sitting in a dark movie theater where talking out loud is frowned upon.

After that, I had to fill out a lengthy questionnaire that would help the dating website people analyze my “chemistry” and match me with suitable dates.  It’s your basic personality assessment.  But it’s still uncomfortable and took quite awhile.  It reminded me of the psychological background questionnaires I had to answer when applying for my current job.  I was so tired of answering questions and just wanted it to be over that by the end I was frustrated and didn’t care anymore.

Finally, finally, I came to the part where I could upload a photo of myself and finish my profile.  My friend helped me pick out a decent photo of me and then I was done.  Or so I thought.  It said my profile was complete but that I needed to fill out an additional questionnaire that would assess what I need in a relationship.  Seriously?  Sigh.  Ok, fine.

If I thought the chemistry questions were awkward, these relationship needs questions were truly uncomfortable.  They asked multiple questions dealing with sex in a relationship and there was even a question that basically asked if I’ve ever had separation anxiety when my partner is away.  Well, considering I’m a grown adult and not a three-year-old, I can answer that with a no.  I went through all 100 questions with a few breaks in there to try to figure out what the hell they were really asking and to ask my friend for advice.  Then, after I clicked finish, it didn’t submit my questionnaire because I’d timed out!  Needless to say, I did not go back through all those questions and redo them.  I was fed up with it all by that point.  I’m sure at some point I will go back and answer them all again, but when I have an hour or so to spare.

I wasn’t sure how this website worked exactly and I didn’t know how someone would contact me or when they’d contact.  But I didn’t have to wait long.  My phone notified me that I had 15 new messages/interests on the dating website from different guys.  I was a little shocked, to say the least.  Fifteen messages?  Wow.  Ok, truthfully, only 13 were from guys on the website.  The other two were welcome messages from the website management.  But still.  My ego got a little bit of a boost.

So I read through the messages, checked out a bunch of profile pages, and responded to a few guys.  Now, the fun begins. 🙂  Stay tuned.


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